“Yumiko is going straight into my book of secret beauty weapons”

The cupping comes first. This is ‘soft cupping’, with therapist Yumiko Inoue gliding silicone cups over my abdomen and face, rather than pressing them down. It is combined with manual lymphatic drainage, massaging areas of bloating with her hands.

The idea behind cupping is to remove toxins and improve blood flow (it’s been used in hospitals in China since the Fifties) and, when combined with lymphatic drainage, it can de-puff and de-bloat.

After 90 minutes, my cheekbones seem more prominent, my jawline less squashy and my abdomen flatter. Yumiko is going straight into my book of secret beauty weapons. The effects won’t last for ever (around four days), but it would be a great pre-party treatment.

When I return the following morning for my colonic, Amanda quashes my anxiety with a loud, double thumbs-up greeting. Her bedside manner is part cocktail-party guest, part royal obstetrician.

Once in a treatment room, I’m instructed to remove everything waist-down, lie on my side on the bed and cover myself with a towel. Amanda then takes a long, plastic pipe in one hand, while massaging my stomach with the other.

On the side sits a silver flask, which, she explains, contains a mix of electrolytes, to replace those flushed out, and a special type of coffee, good for liver cleansing.

During the 45-minute, £155 treatment, I also receive reflexology, pressure point and hot stone therapy on my stomach, to make it more effective and relaxing. To my surprise, we also chat: if having highlights makes for intimacy with your hairdresser, this is on another level!